Who is Xenu? (of Scientology fame)

I mean…seriously….seriously??

I’m going to tell you a story. Are you sitting comfortably? Right, then I’ll begin.

Once upon a time (75 million years ago to be more precise) there was an alien galactic ruler named Xenu. Xenu was in charge of all the planets in this part of the galaxy including our own planet Earth, except in those days it was called Teegeeack.