5 Best and Worse Dew by Wired or Why Wired has Jumped the Shark

First let’s start off with the abomination of a first paragraph:

There used to be a time when a late night D&D session involved several pots of stark black coffee and tons of sugar. This was a simpler time, before 16 ounce energy drinks packed with 80mg of caffeine and fancy additives like Taurine and Ginseng.
Then the times changed, and late night D&D sessions morphed into late night Command and Conquer or World of Warcraft sessions. The brain fuel – the drink of choice changed as well. It was still before the aforementioned energy drinks and way before such trendy items like 5 Hour Energy. That new drink of choice was Mountain Dew.

I know this article is suppose to be about Dew but how can you talk about late night gaming of any kind and leave out Jolt Cola? Moving past that we come to the list of ass, I’ll leave out the comments in the interest of space:

Worst Flavors of Mountain Dew – Horde Red, Supernova, Code Red, Cherry Rush & Pitch Black II

Best Flavors of Mountain Dew – LiveWire, Pitch Black, Baja Blast, Original Dew & Diet Original

Now here comes the pain, first Wired’s Worst of list is all wrong. The only Dew I can honestly say I have on my “The Worst of Dew” list is Supernova, that was a damn chore to get through the only 12 pack I bought. Now for “The Best of Dew” list, only LiveWire stands the taste test. Baja Blast is only good because you have to consume it while eating at Taco Bell. Anything liquid that’s washing down those 6 Big Beef & Cheese Burritos you bought at 4am will taste awesome but trust me by itself it’s just alright. Also putting Original Dew and Diet Dew in the same list is retarded, pick one or the other and stand by it. While they have slight flavor variation it’s not significant for them both to be on “The Best of Dew” list. Now to add further insult to injury here’s my list:

Best Flavors of Mountain Dew by a person with real taste buds – LiveWire, Horde Red aka Original Halo Gamer Fuel, Code Red, MDX and finally Mountain Dew Throwback. This list right here has been independently verified by 6 people I know and we all agree the Wired lists suck ass. We would also like to ask Mountain Dew/Pepsi Co to please make MDX nationwide again, WTF is wrong with you people? MDX rocked! It was a nice medium between a regular Mountain Dew and an Amp Big Rig.

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