PSA: Beware the Proliferation of Satanic-Themed Games

This thing starts great:

Even the most hard-core gamers are sounding the alarm about the rise in the number of satanically-themed video games that target God and Christianity, invite players to make pacts with the devil, and elevate Satan to hero status. “This has been going on for the last 10 years, but especially in the most recent games,” said Lance Christian, 32, of Alton, Illinois who has been an avid gamer for most of his life.

First off who are these hard-core gamers sounding the alarm? You know when gamers and fan boys sound the alarm it’s like **puts on sunglasses** internet wildfire YEEAAAHHHH. I also like how he says it’s been going on for the last 10 years, hrmmm something does sound right there. What was that big satanic game or right DooM, yeah 1993, little more than 10 years. He then goes on to make me want to play Dragon Age:

Dragon’s Age Origins—The game revolves around the story of God going mad and cursing the world. A witch attacks believers and players can “have sex” with her in a pagan act called “blood magic” so she can “give birth to a god.” Another scenario allows players to have sex with a demon in exchange for a boy’s soul.

HOLY SHIT! Blood Magic?!? You mean like Blood Sugar Sex Magik from the Red Hot Chili Peppers, FUCKING EPIC!!! Sign Me Up! Man this article is full of epic win I mean epic failure. And the best part of never blame yourself always blame the other guy:

Even though most of these videos are rated by the Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB) as “M” for mature audiences, many are rated “T” for teens. But regardless of the ratings, they can easily fall into the hands of children from older siblings or parents, Mr. Christian says, and points to a recent YouTube video of an eight year-old playing a popular adult Satanic-themed game.

Oh wait you mean there’s a child playing an M rated game his parents just scooped up and paid $60 without looking for it????? NO WAY! But there’s all kinds of warnings and markings and just a year or so ago they even made said warnings larger because parents complained they were to hard to read. So how again does an M rated game “fall” into a child’s’ hands? Their parents clearly couldn’t shut little Billy up unless they bought it for him. I wonder if these are the same people who scared Chromium away from Army of Two because you could fistbump and they felt that was “homoerotic”, hence a no no. Wait so what about Tim Tebow, I’m sure he’s gotten his share of fist bumps and ass slaps during football games does that make him “The Devil”? And aren’t you suppose to be taught to love all people, so where’s the love people, or is that love only reserved for your own kind kinda like the Nazi’s?